The Company You Keep - Thoughts on Influence
Growing up, who did you look to as a source of inspiration? Who was your hero? As a kid of the 90s, for most little boys of that time it was a sports hero. Perhaps Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson or Barry Sanders or Ken Griffey Jr or Steve Yzerman. Looking back, however, when you really think about your hero, was it really a celebrity or sports figure, or perhaps more likely, it was someone you knew. Maybe it was a parent, or an Aunt or Uncle or another family member. Maybe it was a close friend or a teacher or possibly even the parent of one of your friends. No matter who they were, there were some people in your life growing up that influenced you.
As a parent, you become heavily invested in learning about the kids your child spends time with. Why? Because we know the power a sphere of influence can have on each of us. We tend to become in some ways an amalgam of those we spend our time with. This is a natural tendency while growing up. We dress like our friends and those who influence us. We either bond over the same types of interests or we adapt and pick up similar interests the more time we spend with each other. As kids we don’t really notice this taking place, it just sort of happens. This person becomes a friend and you make more friends and suddenly you have a sphere of influence.
This leads me to wonder – are we equally oblivious to the power of this sphere of influence as adults. Are we aware of the company that we keep and how that influences our thoughts, emotions and our actions? As adults, we have more autonomy than we ever could have imagined as kids, but yet we sometimes fall into those same patterns. Relationships and friendships become a factor of proximity or interests as opposed to a factor of intentionality. Despite being adults, the same holds true – we are in many ways an amalgam of the those we spend the most time with.
Jim Rohn has an often used quote, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” The purpose of this quote is of course to motivate you to audit those you spend your time with – ensuring you’re aware of those who have influence on you. What if we chose curiosity in this instance though, and chose to look at this from different perspective.
How are we influencing those who chose to spend time with us?
How are we factoring in to the amalgam of those that have chosen us as their sphere of influence?
I have a good friend from college, Kevin, who owns Stewart Team Real Estate Partners, a real estate brokerage in Downtown Rochester, Michigan. When you think of real estate you may typically feel like you know what’s involved. Realtors typically help their clients purchase or sell their home. I’d venture to say the general public doesn’t think of anything much past this. What I really admire about Kevin and his team though, is he’s realized that he can have influence not only in his business, but also in his community. Kevin has a weekly post that he puts out each Monday, his Monday Motivation. It’s a short video where he shares an anecdote about something he’s read or come across that he’s found particularly motivating and/or interesting. It’s a small weekly video on social media, but I can’t help but notice and wonder how something like this can have positive influence in the community. Something small, but powerful. Motivation to help you get started for your week, coming from someone who has garnered influence in the community. What if others, with even more influence, could find ways to impact those around them in small ways. As I’ve written about before, a lot can happen in the space of a step. It’s the small steps that lead to the bigger journeys and adventures.
Today, I encourage you to be curious and possibly not only take inventory of those you spend your time with and how they influence you, but also how you influence those who choose to spend their time with you. In what little ways could you use this influence for good? Perhaps an unsolicited encouraging word to those you know look up to you. Perhaps a text message to a friend you haven’t connected with lately who’s been on your mind. Maybe even just an encouraging and welcoming smile to someone you see each day. Perhaps most importantly, a loving hug and show of gratitude to those you live with. Words and actions matter and though you may not notice it, you have influence on someone.
