What if it goes better than you imagined – Thoughts on Anxiety and Positivity

Attention is a complicated concept. It encompasses so many things. Where do we focus our attention? What are we watching, reading, listening to, consuming? What are we giving our attention to?

When we think about things that makes us nervous or anxious, I would say that most of us find it really easy to give attention to those things – the negative or those that make us anxious. Perhaps there’s a big meeting at work coming up, or an interview for a new job, or a big presentation at work or school. It feels sometimes like it’s instinctual that our brains will automatically jump to all of the things that could possibly go wrong? We start playing out scenarios in our head of what could go wrong and how we would handle it.

What if something goes wrong with my computer? What if I don’t make a good first impression? What if I forget part of my speech?

We think about these things all the time in relation to work and school, but we also tend to do the same thing in our home lives and relationships. Perhaps we have a first date, or a big sports game or we’re hosting a party for family and friends. So often it’s so easy to think of all the things that could go wrong.

What if they don’t like my outfit? What if I don’t play my best? What if something goes wrong with the meal?

These fears that come up in us are legitimate and feel so wholeheartedly true, especially in the moments where it feels like the stakes are higher than usual. It’s important to give these feelings the space and the attention they need, because if we don’t, it feels like they just intensify and at some point, they become overwhelming. This is where attention is intriguing and powerful. What if instead of trying to run away from the feelings of what could wrong – we accept them?

There is the possibility that something could go wrong with the computer or that you might not make as good of a first impression as you’d like. You may forget a part of the speech. Your date may not be a good fit for you or you might not play your best in the big game. The party may not go off as flawlessly as you like.

But what if the opposite is also true?

What if – it goes better than you imagined?

What if you do better than you could have imagined in the big meeting, or you make fabulous first impression on your interview and get a 2nd, or you deliver the best speech in the best way you could hope for.

What if the date goes perfect and you both can’t wait for the next one, or you play the game of your life and come out the champion. What if the party goes flawlessly and everyone raves about your hospitality and cooking?

What if we were to give just as much (if not more) attention to the positive possibilities, as we do to the negative. I am not saying we ignore our feelings of nervousness or anxiousness when they come up as we venture into to situations and adventures. I am not a proponent of toxic positivity. As we honor and give attention to those nervous feelings, however, we should also consider that we have the choice to give just as much attention to the positive and the possibility that things will go better than you could have ever imagined.

Anxiety and nerves sometimes get a bad connotation in our society. We hear stories of the extremes and we sometimes forget that it’s actually quite natural to have these feelings. They are a part of being human. Another part of being human, though, is we have the ability to choose. The ability to choose to also give our attention to the possibility of success. To choose how much attention and power we give to our emotions. To choose where we intentionally focus our attention.

I challenge you – the next time you find yourself overwhelmed with emotion and thinking ‘What if this or that goes wrong?’ Give just as much attention to the possibility of ‘what if everything goes right?’ 

What if everything goes better than you could imagine?